See you in September..

I have decided that rather then add guilt about not blogging to my plate of over fullness, I'd simply bid you all the best of wishes for the Summer and God willing, hope to see you in the Fall.

Appreciate all your small moments and minor accomplishments. This is a lesson I am learning well and whole heartily recommend.

My shop will be open through out so order to your heart's content.

Regards,

Holly

Oh, I like her music, some anyway. It's the overwrought videos that do me in.
I'm afraid she's headed for Winehouse Land if someone doesn't whack her with some perspective. Maybe Madonna has a mentor program. And some pants. She needs pants.

is it just me?

Is anyone else struck by the fact that the copious amount of dry humping Lady Gaga does is to well, guys that ain't gonna be interested? In other words, Ga, if you Gay It Up to the extreme it looks a little silly.

It stops being sexy and goes straight to bad camp. You lost me at bowl haircut. Can you imagine that conversation?

Agent "The good news is Gaga wants you, she thinks you'd be hot in Allejandro. The bad news is you gotta get this Three Stooges haircut."

Agent "Ok, you got the part in Teeth, but you can't start laughing when the dude does that weird hoe down thing with the crop, k?"

There's enough faux Gay Swag to make one wonder if the person directing the film has any real exposure to real gay people. I mean, who knew gay men hung out in leather swag with fishnets on?

Allejandro is a 'homage to gay love and how brave it is' (paraphrasing) but WTH is deciding the bizarre swag is making the character 'gay'? And Ga, really? I don't think (if that's Allejandro) you gotta break up with him. I'm thinking maybe Gaga simply has her own version of gay men, who all dress like that and wanna do her.

It's like Gaga is backed my the S&M version of The Village People. FFS.

And while we are homaging, perhaps someone could point out to Ms. Ga that lesbians are gay people too. And while I shudder to think how they'd be portrayed, at least her chances of being considered desirable by her homaged in video co-stars might increase.

Tick tick..

Ok, got home from gym, slugged down the Alive elixir so we'll see. Although in fairness I can't really think it would make a change in two days. If it hasn't then I'll pass out in about 90 minutes.

I've started driving to the school early so I can crash in my car rather then trying to stay awake and drive,lol.

Expecting both he vid and the kettlebell stuff today. Should be interesting. I hope it's interesting. Exercise freakin bores me to tears. Seriously, I've knitted while using the bicycling thingy at the gym.

I hate that machine so no I try and listen to a book and watch tv while on the Elliptical or whatever. Problem with that is I always seem to end up under the machine with Today on it and it takes about five minutes before I want to knock Kathy Lee and whatever her name is head's together.

They are usually right next to Rachel Ray. Who had super fat ladies on complaining about no 'Fat Fashion'. Yeah, all I could think of was me fifteen years, ten years, five years ago thinking the same way. Give those really fat ladies a few years and when the body starts to complain finding clothes isn't gonna look like quite the injustice it seems.

As if not making clothes over a size 18/20 to 22/24 is a Hate Crime. Priorities ladies, trust me. The turning point for me, besides my health? When I realised I'd never seen a really old really fat lady advocating for fat acceptance. In fact, while I see lots of old ladies all the time, I never see a really old really fat lady.

And the older ones I've seen, have all been in scooters. You can accept all you want to , but we were all pretty much born with the same skeletal structure. As far as the myth of Fat and Fit when you look at skeletons of obese folks, the bones show signs of strain and sometimes even fracture.

And if you are reading this and any of it rings a bell, please, take care of yourself before you hit forty, cause at 45 this shit is hard, yo (as my friend knotworkshop says). Looking back I realise my whole fat acceptance insistence was really defensiveness. It's not normal, it's not healthy and frankly, while I think everyone is entitled to be how ever heavy they choose to be, gone are the days when I think it's just oky doky anymore then I can be convinced being a smoker is.

It simply defies logic.

So this is next Alive Multi Vitamin Liquid had the husband pick some up.

Was looking for the shake, but eh, the shop doesn't have it and the shipping took two weeks just to start. I'm not really one for vitamins, but I'm getting a little desperate. The pills, you take three a day. I can chuck pills back like a champ but three a day? Plus there's that whole do they digest thing.

So I'll let you know. The price is pretty good $22 at Vitamin Shoppe (I hate that extra E crap). Since we don't have insurance just going ot he doc and getting a work up isn't feasible. Niether is sleeping all afternoon. It pisses me off and it's really hard to get out of bed once nap time is over.

I will say the Apple Cider vinegar is great for allergies. I've been off Claritin since I started taking it and while I have angry and not sensitive skin, I haven't had any break outs. Go figure. I started keeping the bottle on the sink back in the kitchen.

That way I can remember to dose and ew, I recommend skipping the sweetener. I know that's the common way but yuck.

My hope (kinda gave up on 'plan' for the interim) is to start making stuff Monday. There's a November show I might get invited to for soap and well, I need soap. Not simply the promise of.

Got a subscription for Farro though Amazon, that stuff is crazy pricey if you can find it at any of our local shops.

I'm TRYING to consider this month a month of transition. You know, like any day now I'll come out of this brain fog and lose a damn pound.

p.s. It tastes like those 'green' drinks or Green Machine or similar. I don't know what those "tastes awful" folks were whining about. I had mine straight but it would be pretty unnoticeable in a smoothie.

WTH?

So I continue to lose and gain the same five pounds, pretty much. Yeah muscle weighs more, blah, blah, beleive me, I'm am authority on all that shit. But that aside, I'm having this bizarre chocolate covered donut freak out.

Bizarre because I don't eat chocolate covered donuts. Not since geeze, I was like what 19? And then a steady diet of substances was supplemented by chocolate milk, Hostess chocolate covered donuts and smokes.

But I'm like, in Safeway and this overwhelming I'm going to freak out of I don't eat some right NOW and like a BAG full happens. And no, I didn't get any but they haunt me still...

I mean, it's not even good junk food fcol, maybe have a wax deficiency or something. Cause if I recall, that's pretty much what they are coated with.

Kettlebell

So if you don't hear from me for more then a few days it's because I've hurled the damn thing through the TV or it landed on my head or something.

I got this one because it has beginner to whatever levels. I can only assume this video is not representative of the beginner level.

Oh and yes, my gym has classes. But the classes have people in them.

Also trying Apple Cider Vinegar I took it ages ago and while I can't attest to weight loss, it did seem to help with the daily retching. So hopefully it will again. At some point the puking gets really old. Like, about two years ago.

I'll keep you posted, maybe try all this for a month and then report back. As it stands, it's been about a month and I'm just now not wanting to pass out every afternoon because of this exercise that's supposed to give me more energy.

I'm not sure who these more energized folks are, but I ain't seeing it.

Not made a thing in three weeks now, online business? What online business?

*sigh*

Hey, uh...

Just wanted to give a 'I'm alive.' notice. Lots of stuff to tell, lots not to as well. Going to try something called kettlebell and some chakra clearing Kundalini yoga. For those who are going 'huh?' Kundalini is yoga that is not boring. I know it looks weird, but it kicks your cosmically enlightmented ass.

Oh and it's all spiritual and stuff, but mostly, it isn't boring. Plus the people who practice it look crazy happy. I could use some happy, less crazy, or at least not you know, more crazy. Still doing Hatha yoga once a week but yeah, standing still and breathing makes me kinda antsy. Kundalini is breathing and moving and all kinds of stuff happening at once. So I don't end up mentally writing my grocery list or something.

So I'm trying this Maya Fiennes covers chakras as well. What the hell, ya know? Next Saturday I'll be 44 and frankly, I don't care to keep going on like this and now that I'm determined to keep going and worried about not being able to, I'll give it a go.

Hey, did you know you can get these cool things called 'Playaways' at the library? They are little MP3 players with the book loaded. I have something plugged in most times, another playing in the car, another on the iTouch at the gym.

Car = The Turn of the Screw
Gym= The Black Dahlia
House= Insomnia

Uh, my state of mind isn't necessary represented by those choices...

Yeah, whatever.

"I do apologize for any ill informed or harsh decisions and actions made by our Support team. I can only ask for the understanding that we can make mistakes. We are human beings working at a high capacity. If you find that any actions made by our Support team have been made erroneously or without all the information, we encourage you to contact us privately and to explain what has happened. When we are in the wrong, we can and will reverse our decisions. "

This was Are You There God, It's me, Margaret's apology for shutting down shops who deigned to take umbrage (well deserved) at the Tiny Tim workplace extravaganza.

Just human beings? Really? And here I thought the Etsy staff was a Super Human Alien Race. Of course, they'd be the worst Super Humans EVER.

It always cracks me up when assholes use the 'just a human being' card. BP 'just people'. Guess what? People can SUCK and be gigantic ASSHOLES.

LOTS of human beings are NOT assholes. It doesn't go hand in hand. Honest.

"Working at a high capacity" really? Again, lots of people work without sucking. In fact, to consider anything at Etsy 'working at a high capacity' is ludicrous. Yes, it was the stress, really.


Thank God these people aren't cops or firefighters.

And speaking from personal expierence, going to Support will make you want to eat your own face.

Jello

Is a dish best served cold.

Monday's Fable

The Ass in the Lion's Skin

An Ass, having put on the Lion's skin, roamed about in the forest
and amused himself by frightening all the foolish animals he met
in his wanderings.

At last coming upon a Fox, he tried to
frighten him also, but the Fox no sooner heard the sound of his
voice than he exclaimed, "I might possibly have been frightened
myself, if I had not heard your bray."


    Clothes may disguise a fool, but his words will give him away.

Things I've done thus far.

I just love an opportunity to say thus. Anyhow, thus far I have gone to the gym six out of seven days for two weeks. Just cardio at this point. It has helped tremendously with the depression which is a huge relief as I really don't want to start med fiddling again, I'd like to stay on the minimum.

I've lost *sigh* 1.5 pounds,lol.

I did a lot of baking over this weekend. Once you wean yourself off sugary stuff (thanks Andrew) it's startling how little sweet one needs to taste sweet. I've used applesauce instead of butter and banana instead of sugar in three muffin recipes so far and you know what, they taste good.

You know, taste does change. I made sausage and scrambled eggs and made it through three bites before I had to give it to the dogs. So I made a fritatta with egg, all kind of veggies and scarfed it. The secret is to sprinkle Panko breadcrumbs on top and broil until it browned.

I'm sure most of it is Andrew, but whatever works. I just don't want sugary stuff. Bready stuff or even a lot of cooked foods.

The boy is grudgingly getting used to it. My husband is thrilled.

Of course I have baggied everything into single slices for portion control and gone mad bagging servings of fruits and berries and veggies. Summer is fantastic for berries, wow. Greek yogurt is a Godsend.

I'm still tired but less so. Of course everything is a mess as crashing in the afternoon does take up ones time.

I downloaded some flylady type app for the house. I can't stand the original, she makes me want to wallow in sloth for some reason, but this app is a bit more, well, less OCOA/OCD like.

That starts Monday. That will be the biggest challenge as I tend to wander about the house feeling overwhelmed and accomplishing very little.

I also closed my Twitter account. I had this lightbulb moment when I had to Google to find out what IRL meant. Though maybe I should spend more time IN it. The BIG change? PC goes OFF at 4PM. And no PC on the weekends. Obviously this starts Monday,lol.

I still haven't relisted anything on Etsy and that feels pretty good. Things will expire in a few weeks and I'll be done. I want to focus on the uppityminions.com site no more pimps for me, thanks.

So as much as I hate being optimistic, it's not a bad start. Bagging food on the weekends makes it super convenient, even more so then opening a box of cereal, or ok, as convenient. I tend to eat for fuel, so whatever is easiest is what gets eaten.

Oh and water, did you know you can drink the stuff?

Yoga for Weight Loss

Yoga for Weight Loss

This one is good. Trust me. I've been through so many that are like 'Now bring your chest to your knees and I'm like "It's already THERE, bitch." Or "Hold downward dog for four minutes while inhaling deeply." uh, yeah, ok. No.

This is Yoga for round people. Later I'll show you this nifty Kundalini DVD but I have to get near Kundalini ready. Plus Suzanne doesn't make you want to hurl the damn mat at her head. Always a plus.

I'll also have a almond meal blueberry muffin recipe that has no butter or oil or sugar (or very little) and still makes you want to eat too many of them.

Makes as much sense.

A good friend came up with this. I call Sawyer.

Duh..

You know how below I mention trying to suss a few things out? Well, it finally dawned on me that stopping all my unhealthy self destructive behaviors was great and all, but there was no follow up.

What I mean is, when you do nothing to actively care for yourself it's really passive self abuse. I know...big freakin light bulb there. So you know, yay for me for stopping everything when I became a Mom.

But that was ten years ago.

On some level I've continued to abuse myself, just not actively. Just not actively. And I mean that in the literal sense not the oft abused literally. It never occurred to me to replace behaviors. Just to stop.

Instead of treating myself poorly I guess I just kinda ignored me cause i didn't know what else to do and that was enough, hard enough, for a good while.

That was stupid.

So I'm telling you this, gentle reader, in case you chance to find yourself in the same proverbial boat. A really, really big boat.

It's good to stop doing harmful things. But that isn't where it ends. Self neglect is just as dysfunctional, just as harmful, just not as obvious as all the behaviors that proceeded it. Wasn't to me, anyway.

Damn.

We all get older, if we are lucky anyway.

So part of this whole 'don't be so sick your husband has to take care of you' thing has been getting to the gym. Eating well, blahs, blah. And it's exhausting. Where is the damned lying liar pants that told me I'd 'have more energy'?

Probably taking a nap somewhere.

Plus the husband got a job, thank God, short term but pays rent, and has to get up at (wait for it) five a.m. This means me. Because I don't trust him to get up with an alarm. Not a morning person. Not even a mid morning person.

So this all started about a week ago. Funny how you just can't cram more stuff in a finite day. I haven't made a damn thing in over a week which is kind of refreshing but I'm waiting for the energy Mr. Pinocchio Face promised me because our show is in less then two weeks.

Plus the site, etc.

I'm even spending quality time with Andrew Johnson, everyday now. I'm sure that subconsciously I am a very Positive Person. In addition to not wanting to eat Fattening Foods.

But I haven't quite figured out how the hell I'm supposed to cram all this in or well, how to get the energy to do so without downing a Monster. I am so very ready for Summer as the school thing will be one big less thing to do. I am a firm beleiver in letting one's child sleep til noon and play video games for five hours at least for the first week or so.

This is mostly for my benefit.

So I'm at the gym and I'm slogging along 'getting healthy'. I start to think how odd it is that I'll be 44 this month (how that happened I can't say) and here I am listening to Agent Orange and The Adolescents , Christian Death and some Adam Ant (it was old school meets really HOT guy mix) all fat and tired and married and stuff.

Then it occurred to me that with the exception of Henry Rollins who has some weird Dorian Gray thing going on (and is the only person I've seen give Christopher Walken the willies) that we are ALL older now.

Well, those of us still alive anyhow. I guess mindset has very little to do with youth. Although there are more pressing things to be angry about now and well, lets just say the lifestyle changed. Hence the still alive part.

I still think of like, Social Distortion of being like they were when I was fifteen and then you see a vid and go "Wow, dude.."

Ok, except Billy Idol who has aged in what I can only imagine is part of a pact with Satan but it's Billy, so it's ok, all is forgiven. I mean, have you SEEN the guy?

I got really fat. While not shocking it's embarrassing. It's something I feel I have to explain before anyone who knew me sees me. As if they would miss it, right? As if somehow I don't know really, I haven't quite puzzled that out, but it's not a positive.

AND now I'm almost 44. WTF? I don't wanna start over... Can't I just go back in the Way Back Machine and leave a 'Do not get fat' sticky on my leather corset or something? You know, something that will give me a heads up.

Dear Holly,

You will live a lot longer then you are trying to. Despite your best efforts. Please, consider this before you get really fat. And then don't. Because then dying, by then, is something you really want to avoid.

Whatever,

Me

Let's just say the whole Future Concept is not a familiar one. I didn't think or care, really, that I'd get older and now it just pisses me off.

Anyway, I'll be really annoyed if I post this rambling missive and then keel over. God forbid, please. We've had to start over financially, I guess this is part of that package. It's a really shitty package and I'd like to exchange it for a better one. But you know, the literal and the literary don't often mesh.

Thats all really, just mulling it all over. Thankful to be here, but wish I'd prepared for the journey.

(ps. Andrew Johnson is not code for anything involving a penis. Although I do assume he has one. Not that I dwell on it. Andrew (read below post) is a hypnotherapist/Reiki Master. I'm doing his self hypnosis program. Cheeky monkey.)

Oh, the ironing.

So, part of my whole 'thing' has been to join a gym and eat healthy and 'relax' more. In my case relax deserves the ' so get off my back ' police. Because for me 'relax' means to well, probably go through my day feeling like a normal not relaxed person.

So I also got the iTouch apps, they are you know affirmation/hypnosis things, whatever. But they are tolerable because the guy, Andrew Johnson, is a Scot and so the accent is interesting. I love the way he says "fattening food" and "greasy". That's the weight loss one.

The Healing one is a little complex, there's only so many thing I can imagine a sphere of white light doing at one time but Andrew assures me that this is all going into my subconscious so no pressure. I have to take his word for it because well, it's my subconscious. I mean anything could be going on there. Has been for years anyway.

Come to think of it, I'm not all that keen on my subconscious at the moment. But I need to mull that over a bit before expounding.

Anyway, I got the Positivity app, right? It's supposed to make me have (you guessed it) a more positive outlook.

Except I couldn't get the damned thing to download. I finally got it on my PC version of ITunes after screwing around with it for the better part of an hour and then it wouldn't transfer to my iTouch.

Needless to say this did not imbue me with positive feelings nor, incidentally, did it help me relax although it did make me want to go eat fattening foods.

Then all of a sudden I realised (without the help of a damn error message) that well, there was no room for Positivity. The irony of this whole experience did not escape me.

Then I had to figure out what I needed to delete to be able to fit Positivity. Yes, another metaphor, can you stand it? I needed to make room for Positivity which meant getting rid of what I had already stored.

This was not an easy choice, as I have the smaller iTouch and lots of apps and the Positivity needs a lot of space, go figure. Was I willing to let go on order to make room for Positivity?

I guess, cause I found this lame ass penguin game I forgot about and got rid of that. Otherwise who knows? I mean, deleting something I liked woulda just pissed me off, seems a little self defeating had that been the case.

DC Metro/N VA folks

From: Debby Critchley
Subject: [DC-Rescue] Fw: [BeverleyHillsNeighborhood] Alert-poisoning of dogs in FFX Cnty
To: DC-Rescue@yahoogroups.com
Date: Thursday, May 27, 2010, 1:21 PM

Attention Centreville residents:

We wish to make you aware of a serious situation that came to our attention yesterday.

Poisoned meatballs were placed in at least three yards in the Sully Station II neighborhood in Centreville, on/near Kamputa Drive and Olddale Road. PLEASE be cautious when taking your dog outside!

If you live near this area, we recommend leash-walking your dog (do not leave them unattended outdoors), being alert to anything on the ground, and closely inspecting your yard. The meatballs have been fatal in at least two cases, and we hope this gets to you in time to prevent any more tragedy.

Symptoms caused by these poisons include seizures and trouble breathing, and usually begin within 15 minutes to two hours after ingesting the meatball. If you are concerned that your pet may have eaten a poisoned meatball, please bring him/her in immediately.

Fairfax County Animal Control and Police will be putting conducting an investigation. If you know anything about this case, please contact Animal Control at 703-691-2131, or the animal shelter at 703-830-1100. Please watch the news for additional information.

Please feel free to call us with any questions or concerns.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Riley
Office Manager
Caring Hands Animal Hospital
703-830-5700

Mondays Fable by Jean De La Fontaine

La Besace* -- The Alms Bag

Translation by Michael Star

One day mighty Jupiter said "Let all living things come before me to compare themselves, one with the other.
Let no one be afraid to speak honestly even if they find fault.  I shall ensure that no harm comes of it.  Come
Monkey, you are the one that should begin.  Let all the others compare themselves to your beauty.  Tell me, are
you satisfied with yourself?"

"Me?"  He said.  "Why Not!  Is my body not as good as any of the others?  And as for my face, there's nothing
to reproach myself for on that score.  But as for my brother the bear, I have to say that I find his features
rather coarse.  And no artist would ever pick him as a subject for a painting"

Everyone expected the bear to reply angrily, but he didn't.  Instead he praised his own physique quite loudly.
Then he went on to speak of the Elephant.  He pointed out that Elephant could use a longer tail and smaller ears.
In short he declared that the Elephant was quite misshapen and ugly.

The Elephant (wise beast that he was) did not retaliate. Instead, he opined as to how Madame Whale was really too
fat.  Madame Ant then said that she found the Mite a bit too small.  It made her feel that she was a giant.

At this point Jupiter, hearing all these criticisms, angrily told them to stop.  This didn't scare the other
animals who were still self-satisfied.  And among the most self satisfied were the humans because that is how
we are: fierce animals when it comes to criticizing others, and meek when it comes to speaking of our own faults.  We
forgive ourselves everything, and forgive others nothing.

The Creator made us like alms bags all in the same way: Those born long ago and those born today. Our own faults
are buried in the rear pouch. The front pouch is reserved for the faults of others.

* Besace - A Beggars Bag.  A cylindrical bag with an opening
in centre, forming two pouches.  It was usually carried over
a shoulder.

Now he has a friend.

So I found this hideous fabric..

But it was realllly soft. Lisa says it might be chenille. They only had two yards, which is a shame as it has fantastic potential. Shaggyboy is the first monster to be made from it. I knew he was going to turn out well because I kept smiling the whole time.

The next will be smaller, I think. The heart if felt which means you can just sorta smush it against whatever this stuff is and it stays there. Later he'll be tagged and properly photographed, but for now he's just hanging out.

Things People Like

People like Owls. Soft smushy things and things that stand up. Who am I to deny them?

Grumpy Haters on Uppity Minions

Mondays Fable

 The Dog and the Hare


A Hound having started a Hare on the hillside pursued her for
some distance, at one time biting her with his teeth as if he
would take her life, and at another fawning upon her, as if in
play with another dog.

The Hare said to him, "I wish you would
act sincerely by me, and show yourself in your true colors.  If
you are a friend, why do you bite me so hard? If an enemy, why do
you fawn on me?' 


 No one can be a friend if you know not whether to trust or
 distrust him. 

Dear Venue, it isn't me, it's you.

I've gotten several emails asking for more information in regard to expanding the horizons, moving on, reaching out, (I refuse to use the eggs and basket analogy, tireder then the deadest of horses) and so forth.

So I thought I'd share with you what I know, it isn't a lot, but, if I can do it you can. Mostly because I hate change. I'd stay with a venue for months (well, I did really) after things go downhill, in the face of all reason, remarking on the pretty colors the implosion casts rather then move on.

Because I hate change and I'm kinda lazy. Maybe it will get better, right? But at some point you become the girl who is always complaining about her boyfriend and never leaves. We were all her or knew her, or both, at some point and let's face it, that's annoying and pathetic and at some point everyone stops listening and avoids you. Not unlike a venue, when you do finally leave, there's a half dozen dewy eyed girls vying for your place.

I say welcome to it.

Venues can be a good source of revenue, advertising, etc. But I do not believe they should ever be the end all be all basket in which those tired eggs are placed. Because for one thing, it dooms you to hearing that analogy over and over and another, that venue can just decide it doesn't like you anymore, it wants to change everything, you should pay more (sounds like that boyfriend, huh?) or as some have experienced, shut you down without rhyme or recourse. Which does happen to perfectly legitimate sellers.

And there you are. Years, possibly, invested, gone. Business cards, wasted and no one at what they call support seems to give a flying rats ass. (Note: This didn't happen to me, I have seen it happen to others. So there's no personal bitterness here, relax, you viewing cupcakes, go back and frost something.)

So, what did I do? After waiting much to long?

1. I bought my domain name.

This is crucial for many reasons, but one of the coolest being business cards. If you are at or switch venues you can forward the domain name. No more crossing out the venue's name so you can still use the cards (This I DO know from personal experience.)

You own it and that's cool. It's actually quite the motivator, feeling all official and stuff.

There's other reasons but I've only had one cup of coffee and it's before 8 am so hold onto those for now.

2. Get a website. There are a few hosts. I used godaddy.com for domain registering (great customer service) I would recommend everyone pay the extra few dollars for privacy. Otherwise anyone can go to whois.com and get your address, personal info. This leaves you open for all kinds of online unpleasantness. Yes, there are people that vile. Trust me.

I ended up going with pappashop.com for both the GMA and the Uppityminions site. They cost me $12 a month and have great customer service (in fact once you get free from some of these venues you realise most everyone does) and while I am tech ignorant, I was able to do it.

Once you get the hang of it it's really one page listing. I found Pappa to be the most recommended and the most affordable. You get neat things like stats, inventory management, everything you wish that venue had.

I used enmariepaper from Etsy for my templates as I didn't really like any of the free ones, her prices are good, her service is excellent and she will load everything for you.

You don't get the traffic, but, chances are if you've made it this far along this post, you aren't getting the traffic there either. Even with a venue, a site is a good idea. For branding, for security and you can redirect your customers there (all within the TOU's of the venue of course).

Pappashop comes with a cart, it's idiot proof and I should know. I've attached my blog. Actually I couldn't figure out how, so I paid the $5 to do it, but you probably good. They have tons of tutorials.

Even better is to get together with a few friends like Uppityminions.com did. We share dues, promotions responsibilities and are there top support one another. Even two or three people who sell different things, ideally, will give you a bigger presence then being out there one your own. That being said, lots are successful being out on their own, it really depends on you and what motivates you.

The cooperative setting will either go wonderfully as people sort out who will lead, who has what strength (we are fortunate to have some really tech savvy folks) each member has and so on or be a flaming hot mess as egos battle each other and everyone assumes the Little Red Hen will do everything.

Don't expect your first attempt to work. Ours did, part luck, part persona and a big dose of desperation as we watched out venue screw with us over and over and over again while our income dropped. Dramatically. We've had bumps and bitchings and will again as we continue on, but the understanding is it's the way a dynamic group works.

You will be at odds with one another over something, along the way. We handle that by voting on shop issues and handling personal disputes privately. A train wreck on a forum is entertaining, but one on a team is a disaster and puts everyone is an awkward position. Delegation is important too. Crucial even and a good team has responsibilities spread over the board.

Expect to end up with a core group as others drop off for one reason or another, there is strength in numbers, but I think more so in determination.

If you go it along, with enough determination you can kick as much ass as a team of ten. That being said, still have a group or community to run things by, get support from, bitch too. It can be overwhelming out there in the great webby beyond.

So, that's as far as I've gotten. I'll post as things that may be helpful to you come up. I'm happy to answer any questions as best I can. I think too often we crafty folk underestimate just how pragmatic we can be when we have to. You can create and succeed. This is something I remind myself of daily, sometimes hourly and on bad days several times in the course of a minute.

But I shall never rely on a venue again (Scarlett O'Hara voice) as my sole source of revenue or presence. Rather I will see it as a mutually beneficial relationship, when needed, not as a dependent one.

Uppity is still a work in progress, but feel free to check to out to get a feel of a group dynamic. I expect it will change a bit here and there as we learn more, but the fundamentals will remain the same. Our goal is to present a unified group without well, becoming The Borg. So far, so good.

(reminds self to do bio for UM page)

As for me, I will continue to let my listings expire on the venue I have lost total and utter faith in. I'll leave my shop open, hope springs eternal and all that, but even if it were to turn around, no, I'd not go back to it (or any venue) as my one and only ever again.

Monday I'll post some ideas about promoting from both myself and the team. That is a work in progress but I do have some ideas, to be frank I've never promoted before (see above comment regarding lazy) and both the sole and the team site present challenges. But it's good stuff, you know?

I'm dying here...

Coupon Time!

Join us as we celebrate our opening (drumroll) enter clevergoods at checkout and get 20 percent off entire Uppity Minions purchase!

*whew*

Just dusting off the last of the sawdust. Come and check us out. I figure if some redhead with a fish can make this gigantic venue, then a bunch of us should be able to pull of our own little enclave here in the Land of Web.

No illusions of grandeur, just a site that works, people that respect one another and happen to think our buyer's are pretty important too.

Think Little Engine that finally got pissed off enough.

God Bless them

I think this vid does more to show how great the human spirit is then any Army promo video commercial. I found this to be so funny and so moving when you consider where they are and the things they deal with everyday as thier 'normal'.

I know it's corny, but this is the kind of stuff that makes me hopeful. And probably really freaks Bin Laden out which is a bonus. I know at first it's just a goofy video, but the reality of where they are is overwhelming in contrast.

God bless them and may they all come home safe and sound.

My spot

See spot 29? That's where I'll be on the 8th. I was slated for number 6 and I'm sure sensible people would be like "Are you nuts?" to which I would reply "Yes, and your point?".

Yes, I'm the seller that doesn't like crowds. There I said it. Lots of people milling about make me feel a bit at sea.

It doesn't mean I'm hunkered down writing my manifesto as buyers walk by glancing in anxiously, it's just I like to have you know, boundaries. Ok, plus I hang stuff from them, but that's practical.

Just you know, a couple walls up there. Makes me feel much more comfortable. Even at inside shows, I have like really tall shelves. A defining whatever.

Put me in a room with thirty dogs and I'm in heaven. Put me in a room with thirty people and I need a wall. Go figure.

Plus it's shady, dude, a fat girl in the sun is not a happy seller. Walls or no.

Who am I?

I'll give you a hint. According to eye witnesses, I am not a fun date.

Bwhahaaaaa

New Soaps On The Site

Iris

This is a stunner. Fresh and clean, single tone Iris.

Boyfriend

You know the one you didn't marry but sometimes wonder about?

This is a might good smelling soap, citrus, hay, musk, green, fresh air, musk, oak moss, and patchouli. The soap will probably be around longer then he was anyway.

Lemon Mint

Sweet mint and fresh lemon. Think Italian Ice. Or you know, think whatever, but if they made an ice that tasted like this smells I'd be all over it.

New Mown Hay
Warm, golden fresh cut hay. Without the allergies or horse poop.

Crushed Ice
Man, this is so awesome. It's a watery cool scent. Great for Summer. I've already pulled like eight bars for myself.




Goat Mountain Arts Site
Enter Openhouse at check out for 2o percent off!

Monday's Fable

The Sick Stag

A sick stag lay down in a quiet corner of its pasture-ground.
His companions came in great numbers to inquire after his health,
and each one helped himself to a share of the food which had been
placed for his use; so that he died, not from his sickness, but
from the failure of the means of living.


Evil companions bring more hurt than profit.

New Monsters

There's more and like EIGHT more soaps to list, but it got rainy. So I hope to have those up soon. For now Grumpy's is on Etsy and Zibbet but that is a change in the making.

Breaking up is hard to do.

Etsy as soon as we are through, this damnable Firefox is going too. Nothing personal FF but you suck.

It's been harder then I thought to resist listing new things on Etsy. Makes no sense, attachment? Habit? Hope springing eternal? But I haven't.

Being away from Etsy has made be really focus on MY goals rather then what's wrong with Etsy now. Do I miss the forums? I miss the people, but those people I maintain relationships with.

I am happy with myself for not being the girl who complains about her boyfriend but never leaves.

My site is getting traffic, mailings are being sent. I don't know, will it pan out? Would I have left it Etsy didn't hit that brick wall?

Maybe and more then likely. Dysfunction Junction isn't where I need to be, although it is the most comfortable for me. Which isn't you know, healthy. Now I'm thinking why not set a fire under my own ass rather then railing away at a venue who has never listened as if they suddenly will?

But as odd as it is, it is a little bittersweet, a lot nerve wracking but kinda exciting too. Now I have to go out in the world and promote. Something I never did on E. Yep.

But I think it's best for both of us, Etsy. And to be honest, it's something I should have done months ago. I'll watch my listing expire and find comfort in the fact that it's not me, it's you. Maybe you changed, or maybe I just wasn't paying attention because the money was good. But now that I've stepped back for a couple weeks, it's clear you and I simply aren't meant to be.

Of course, watching my listing expire may be a little anxiety producing...

This is how I know I'm doing something right.

Aesop's Fables

 The Crow and the Pitcher






A Crow, half-dead with thirst, came upon a Pitcher which had
once been full of water; but when the Crow put its beak into the
mouth of the Pitcher he found that only very little water was left
in it, and that he could not reach far enough down to get at it.

He tried, and he tried, but at last had to give up in despair.
Then a thought came to him, and he took a pebble and dropped it
into the Pitcher.

Then he took another pebble and dropped it into
the Pitcher.  Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher.  Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher.

Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher.  Then he took another pebble and dropped that into
the Pitcher.

At last, at last, he saw the water mount up near
him, and after casting in a few more pebbles he was able to quench
his thirst and save his life.


 Little by little does the trick.

The word for today is...

Vapid

I bet she makes little handmade journals, too.

What to listen to..

when everyone around you seems to have lost all perspective.

Coming Soon!

Some new scents I'm pretty excited about.

Hyacinth. Which I'll try blending with a peach and have a stand alone scent.

Violet. This one is really special.

Crushed Ice. This is a great hot day scent, it's a snow/icy scent. Hard to explain but fantastic.

Waiting for The Great Leap Forward

I have this show coming up May 8th Ballston Arts Craft Market it' s every second Saturday of the month for 10 to 4. Come and visit.

The thing is I'm not selling soap, I'm selling Grumpys. This means a whole new booth thingy. Tomorrow I have to drag the Ez Up out and make sure it's not moldy. I went to Target and got some cute, bright bowls and such and these cheap, cool tablecloths.

The big quandary was how to display the stuffies. I want people to be able to pick them up without feeling like they are gonna knock everything over and reaching over it never good. Stuffies are not as well behaved as soap though. Putting them in neat rows and walking away just doesn't work.

So I found a shoe storage thing, you know, the over the door ones? Turns out all the Cupcake Eaters fit right in. It also turns out I have a lot less cupcake eaters then I thought. So, um. Yeah.

My thinking (as it is) is that I can hang these from the bar. I have walls (walls are your best friend at craft shows) so i don't have to worry about the blowing about. It's a big 10 by 10 tent.
I'm going to have to break down and set it ALL up this weekend for a trail run. I'll post pics then.

I think it's gonna be pretty damn nifty.

Now somehow I'm going to do this, make soap, make stuffies, raise a child, keep a sort of tidy house and work on two websites and two stores? Oh, three. Oh, and the dogs.

It's too much. So, what I have decided to do is leave Etsy. For all the reasons anyone reading this blog is more then likely aware of. I just can't keep giving money to a venue that I feel has no integrity.

At this point, I'm close to becoming that friend who is always calling you about her boyfriend but never breaks up with him.

Yeah, Etsy, not my boyfriend and I don't want to be that girl. You know "Fool me once, you're an asshole."

If I'm not going to be found, I'd like to at least not pay for the privilege. So I'm going to stay on Zibbet and work on my site along with some other ventures. I am going to actually promote (I know, shocking) locally and try and get established that way.

I'd LOVE to have a little store but that isn't going to happen any time soon. On of the things about the net is you can't just close the door and you can't decide who comes in your shop. I'm kinda weary of the drama and the random blogs slamming someone for something because they think so or whatever.

I'm tired of fretting over feedback, well, I don't really, but I don't like being at the mercy of a sock, the airing of petty disputes and BNA threads. It's a huge energy suck and you know, it doesn't HAVE to be part of being a seller.

I'd like to be up and really running end of May. I'll let my listings run out since they are paid for, but I'm pretty much done. Hopefully Zibbet will have a real forum by then so we can all continue to enjoy each others company.

SO that's where I am and why I'm not where I usually can be found. It just seems like it's time to fish or get off the pot or walk talking or whatever. If I have to learn all this SEO what not, I'm going to channel it in a way that makes sense.

I have to put energy into something worthwhile so when I log off and realise the laundry is in piles and the kid isn't washed and the dogs are hungry, at least I know it was time well spent.

Ring Slobber

As in I covet all of them.

Although I have the fingers of a mighty oak and most rings are made, apparently, for tree sprites.

But! She'll make one for you. No joke. She won't even openly mock you when you tell her your ring finger is size eleven.

Of course, given the size she might think I am a great giant, so perhaps she is mocking me. Just reallllly quietly.

Anyhow, check her out. The stones are just fantastic and different and great and stuff.

Esoterica Bazaar.

Still on...

Go here Goat Mountain Arts and save 20 percent. You know you want to.
(discount is applied when you get there, no really, look at the bottom of the page)

Hey, I'm famous!

Ok, well more people KNOW about me. Fame is overrated anyhow.

Zibbets Featured Seller

Monday Fable

The Silkworm and Spider

Having received an order for twenty yards of silk from Princess
Lioness, the Silkworm sat down at her loom and worked away with
zeal. A Spider soon came around and asked to hire a web-room near
by.

The Silkworm acceded, and the Spider commenced her task and worked
so rapidly that in a short time the web was finished. "Just look at
it," she said, "and see how grand and delicate it is. You cannot but
acknowledge that I'm a much better worker than you. See how quickly
I perform my labors."

"Yes," answered the Silkworm, "but hush up,
for you bother me. Your labors are designed only as base traps, and
are destroyed whenever they are seen, and brushed away as useless
dirt; while mine are stored away, as ornaments of Royalty."


 "True art is thoughtful, delights and endures."

Aesop's Fables

The Trees And The Axe

A MAN came into a forest and asked the Trees to provide him a handle for his axe. The Trees consented to his request and gave him a young ash-tree. No sooner had the man fitted a new handle to his axe from it, than he began to use it and quickly felled with his strokes the noblest giants of the forest.

An old oak, lamenting when too late the destruction of his companions, said to a neighboring cedar, "The first step has lost us all. If we had not given up the rights of the ash, we might yet have retained our own privileges and have stood for ages."

The Scorpion and the Frog

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the
scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The
frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion
says, "Because if I do, I will die too."

The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,
the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of
paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown,
but has just enough time to gasp "Why?"

Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."


The Bee and Jupiter

A Bee from Mount Hymettus, the queen of the hive, ascended to Olympus to present Jupiter some honey fresh from her combs. Jupiter, delighted with the offering of honey, promised to give whatever she should ask.

She therefore besought him, saying, "Give me, I pray thee, a sting, that if any mortal shall approach to take my honey, I may kill him." Jupiter was much displeased, for he loved the race of man, but could not refuse the request because of his promise.

He thus answered the Bee: "You shall have your request, but it will be at the peril of your own life. For if you use your sting, it shall remain in the wound you make, and then you will die from the loss of it."

"Evil wishes, like chickens, come home to roost"



The Hares And The Foxes

THE HARES waged war with the Eagles, and called upon the Foxes to help them.

They replied, "We would willingly have helped you, if we had not known who you were, and with whom you were fighting."

Count the cost before you commit yourselves.


How people treat others, almost always, is indicative of how someday, they will treat you. No matter what the justification, no matter how much you dislike the person being mistreated. It's like a man who cheats on his wife, but wouldn't never cheat on you.

Right...

Save money and stuff.

Hey, I made my own tissue/wrapping paper. Wanna know how? I had a huge roll of tracing paper from Dick Blick (yeah, it cracks me up too,). Then I used my handy stamps I had made here and some QUICK drying ink. Be sure the ink is for glossy papers otherwise you will be standing there forever waiting for the damn thing to dry. I know of whence I speak. I just unroll it as far as I can, stamp, dry and roll back. It works great for wrapping the grumpys, there is very little waste and it's cheap. I also do this with rolls of Kraft paper. I'm sure you could do the same with plain paper but tracing is what I had on hand. And for those of you that don't know Dick, it's a great site for all kinds of arty stuffs.

New Soaps

Lilac

Vanilla Lace

It's me!

This is me as an Uppity Minion done by a famous artist who's last work was seen on a thong. I think she's captured my "Are you freakin' serious?' persona quite nicely.

Sale!

Go here Goat Mountain Arts and save 20 percent. You know you want to.
(discount is applied when you get there, no really, look at the bottom of the page)

Grumpy Get 's Some Love...

How cool is THIS?

Kidindependant.com

I'm live

goatmountainarts.com

all feedback appreciated. Unless you want to be an asshole, then, never mind.