Friday, September 2, 2011
The Myth Of Balance
I often come across people who declare they are 'seeking balance'. This phrase does not make me want to poke my eyes out like 'weight loss journey ' does but I instead I sort of shrug and think "Good luck with that."
As if we are delicate beings swaying in the wind, threatened with toppling at any given moment should we lean one way or another. Trust me, we are way more like Weebles. Most of us wobble, but we don't fall down. Not permanently anyway.
I'm convinced the Quest For Balance is really I Feel Guilty all nobled up. Guilty you spent way too much time running and now your kids are all pouty. Guilty you spent to much time online and now the housework or whatever isn't done.
That isn't imbalance, that's selfishness and lack of self control when it's so extreme is hurts others. But if we call it 'seeking balance' it sounds like something we never had control of, right? I mean, we would never be selfish or self centered, we are just off balance.
Lets face it, there are things I'd like to do more then others. That's what makes me human and likable and not Joan of Arc* who frankly, was nuts and kind of a pill. I never got the adoration over someone who was manipulated because she thought it was Gods work to go kill people. That ended well.
Being delusional and violent isn't noble and doing something you want to more then something you don't isn't being off balance.
If you are Off Balance because you are overextended and never do anything for yourself and run around doing for others 24/7 then this will be harder for you. Because you need to figure out what you are distracting yourself from and why you aren't worth a little self interest. It's still self serving behavior, but it's not something a blog post can fix.
Bear with me and lets look at the possibility of having a Balanced Life. It isn't. Unless you are a robot and if that's the case then I have tons of stuff I need help with.
What is possible is taking stock on a daily basis and determining who you are serving. If it's all you all the time, chances are you are an asshole. If it's you and others and a little more you because you really like something and so you feel guilty because something doesn't get done, you are human.
Just like me. Yay!
When I started getting healthy a LOT fell by the wayside, like making things, for example. Marketing my site, etc. So I tried to Big Picture it because being fat, sick and tired didn't help me address those things. I'm doing something that while in the short term, makes me neglectful, in the long term benefits.
I'd like to see us let go of the Myth of Balance. We are people, not Justice Scales. We are, for the most part, active participants. Most of all, as humans, we are self serving. This isn't bad or good, this just is. Give that up and you become Perpetual Martyr and no one wants t be around you, trust me.
Rather then Balance, just pay attention to what you are doing and how it affects others. It's really that simple.
*There is this phrase credited to her "I am not afraid, I was born to do this." (ironically the crucial contextual mention of God is omitted) that is supposed to be inspirational. Every time I read that I wonder how versed people are in regard to Joan and what she was responsible for. She's no Heroine.
I'm convinced that if she were a man she'd be classified as a religious fanatic who used religion to justify war. Which is exactly what she was. She was not a feminist and in fact refused to allow women to serve in the military. She was a teenager, was killed when she was 19.
In a few short years she lead thousands to their death, as either invaders or defenders, in the name of God and France. Not unlike some of our modern day True Believers. While True Believers are great motivational speakers, I have yet to find one worthy of a 'motivational quote'.