1. A Foam Roller sounds nice, doesn't it? It isn't. It is a horrible instrument of torture. Satan's pool noodle.
2. Fascia (related to number 1 discovery) should be called "Shit That Hurts Like a MF" and not something that sounds kind of like Fresca, which I happen to like.
3. Sports related massage is nothing like massage. In that it hurts a lot.
4. Your calves actually have the ability to function as more then one solid lump of solidified muscle. After you are tortured with Satan's Pool Noodle and your trainer 'fixes' your legs'.
5. Anything that has a funny name, like Duck Squats, isn't.
6. Your trainer can inflict pain in you with a tennis ball. This falls into the 'fixing' category.
7. Your right shoulder is a full inch shorter then your left. Something that you were blissfully unaware of for almost 45 years but now feel like you are listing like the Titanic.
*leans to the left*