Thursday, April 21, 2011


I'm at that stage where I feel like I'm trying to do to many things, unsuccessfully. Some serious winnowing is called for. The only positive there being the chance to use the word 'winnowing'.

Kinley has had a relapse. As in his meds stopped working. I feel like I'm not giving Blue Dot the attention it deserves and I haven't made anything in over a week. Part of that is pollen. Part of that is just I don't know, you could be fancy and call it a malaise. I just feel like I suck at the moment.

Hamid is going to Iran for a couple weeks/month and I'm actually looking forward to that. Gabriel is going back to school Monday and that's good too. Not because I dislike either one, but because maybe a small part of this is I need to be left alone for a few hours.

I love my family but I have never been one of those people who wants to be around them all the time. Anyone really. Unlike Tom Hanks, I don't need a ball with a smiley face on it.

Now Gabriel and I are going to the gym, which is good, but it's one more thing. There are too may things. Or not enough me. Part of it is self discipline or the lack of. That's why I ended up at the gym anyway. Part of it is the doldrums. Part of it is who the hell knows.

This too, shall pass. or it won't and I'll figure out how to deal with that. I just hate feeling like I'm being pecked to death by ducks.

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