Things I learned today.

1. A Foam Roller sounds nice, doesn't it? It isn't. It is a horrible instrument of torture. Satan's pool noodle.

2. Fascia (related to number 1 discovery) should be called "Shit That Hurts Like a MF" and not something that sounds kind of like Fresca, which I happen to like.

3. Sports related massage is nothing like massage. In that it hurts a lot.

4. Your calves actually have the ability to function as more then one solid lump of solidified muscle. After you are tortured with Satan's Pool Noodle and your trainer 'fixes' your legs'.

5. Anything that has a funny name, like Duck Squats, isn't.

6. Your trainer can inflict pain in you with a tennis ball. This falls into the 'fixing' category.

7. Your right shoulder is a full inch shorter then your left. Something that you were blissfully unaware of for almost 45 years but now feel like you are listing like the Titanic.

*leans to the left*

Oh, the ironing..

But wait, isn't this the pot calling the kettle...black? Counter-protesters confront Westboro Baptist Church at Arlington Washington (CNN) -- Protesting members of the controversial Westboro Baptist Church were met with an unlikely group of counter-protesters Monday at Arlington Cemetery. Hours before President Barack Obama led the nation's Memorial Day observances at the Tomb of the Unknowns, three members of the Westboro Baptist Church were challenged by others who disagreed with them -- including members claiming to be from the Ku Klux Klan. The Kansas-based church has attracted nationwide attention for its angry, anti-gay protests at the funerals of U.S. military members. Among those counter-protesting at the cemetery's main entrance: About 10 members of a group that claims to be a branch of the Ku Klux Klan from Virginia called the Knights of the Southern Cross. They were cordoned off separately in a nearby area, but drew little attention as they gave out small American flags behind a banner that read "POW-MIA." They said they were there to object to the Westboro Baptist Church's anti-troop message. "It's the soldier that fought and died and gave them that right to free speech," said Dennis LaBonte, the self-described "Imperial Wizard" of the KKK group that he said he formed several years ago. "That's fine," said Abigail Phelps, the daughter of Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps. "They have no moral authority on anything. "People like them say it's white power ... white supremacy," Phelps said. "The Bible doesn't say anywhere that it's an abomination to be born of a certain gender or race." LaBonte insisted he is not a racist nor a "hate-monger," but said he believes the white race is "slowly and most assuredly being denigrated." Members of the group declined to say whether they were armed. A larger group of about 70 protesters -- separate from the KKK -- located across the street waved pro-USA signs and took turns shouting down the Westboro Baptist Church group. Some of the counter-protesters, including Malaika Elias, stood in front of the Westboro participants in an attempt to block them from street view. "I think they're twisted and confused, and we're just here to show them there are people who think they're completely wrong," Elias said. Many passersby shouted their thanks to the counter-protesters as they entered the cemetery on foot and in vehicles. Several police officers, some on horseback, observed the proceedings. Phelps said her trio was there to tell people they should not "idolize" the dead, especially those who died for an "unrighteous cause."

Oh, what the hell.

So June 26 I turn 45. Um, yay?

I got tired of being really fat.

So I decided not to be anymore. Although not being fat takes a really long time. You know, if you do it in a healthy, non invasive or surgical way.

The lovely grey picture (I have no idea what that circle is, looks like I played a coaster) is me about 25 days ago at 236.

Black one is about 12 days ago.

Blue one is me realizing the black one was sort of cheating so I squeezed myself into a normal person's XL running shirt. That's me just now at 233.8.

I got annoyed because the XL was so 'small' and then I though "WTF? Of course it is, it's a RUNNER's XL." Thinking out of the fat box.

My goal is 160. If I'm lucky I'll clear 200 by the end of the year. It's sensible. It's really slow. But it's sensible.

SO there you go, this is the big (ha) reason I haven't been blogging or making or listing. Because I'm too tired after going to the gym five days a week. Although I'm doing C25K and really liking it.

Who knew?

Oh and in case anyone is wondering out a HRM? The Polar FT60 is worth every (lots of them) dime. It has totally changed the way I work out and I've gotten MUCH better results. I have the Flow Link which lets me download info into the site. Very cool.

My Fitness Pal  horrible name, great site. Best food tracker I have ever used but be warned the exercise calculator is WAY off. Like my HRM will say 200 calories burned and MFP will say 600. But the interface is very user friendly.

p.s. Poor Gabriel has to keep taking these pictures with my iPhone. When I lose more we'll graduate to a real camera.

Dear Mr. Brunswick, NJ

I can certainly sympathize with wanting to buy things and not having enough money. Things like food and medicine and rent. Vet and medical care. Gas.

I see you did use my check card number to get gas. I'm thinking judging by the amount ($30) you must not be driving a gas guzzler and for that, I salute you.

That being said, almost $700 of booze? Really? Sure $233 of it was at The Wine Chateau and that sounds way classier then the Spirit Unlimited outlets you hit during the same few hours. I see you must be familiar with the staff there as why else would a teller put through a charge for $127.17 twice?

 It must have sucked when my bank shut you down after you tried to reserve a hotel room in (of all places) Alaska.

I appreciate you being so blatant in your endeavor that the bank will, eventually, return the money you stole. Plus, I got to hang out at my bank three times this week. You know, to sign disputes and get a new card.

Usually, I just make my deposits at the drive through, but this was ever so much more personal and interactive. Took lots of time too. I was able to enjoy the soft jazz my bank always has playing. Or I would have, if I enjoyed soft jazz.

In closing, I'm sure you had quite the party. Perhaps, when you sober up, you could get a job. Pay for your own purchases even if it is enough booze to fill a pool with, who am I to judge?

I do hope you are caught. I very much hope so. I think it's important to have time to reflect on decisions we make that perhaps weren't the best ones.

In closing, as for me, I will be waiting to get my $700 back so that I may then purchase the aforementioned items. Food, medicine, etc. It's not as exciting or glamourous as The Wine Chateau, but I do the best I can.

Sincerely,

Holly McConnell

I bought this. It doesn't fit. Yet.

Theme Song. Everybody needs one.

Hmmmm...

You know, the second week of Week One C25K (I'm making them months) didn't suck as much. At one point I was kind of enjoying myself.

*goes to look for pod under bed*